Rethinking Our Relationship with the Departed: A Biblical Perspective on Death and Remembrance
The practice of commemorating the deceased is a deeply ingrained human tradition, spanning cultures and millennia. While the desire to honor and remember those who have passed is understandable, it is crucial to examine these practices through a lens of biblical understanding. This exploration delves into the scriptural narrative surrounding death, burial, and remembrance, offering a distinct perspective on how we should engage with the departed.
Abraham’s Purchase: A Foundation of Separation
The biblical account of Abraham’s purchase of a burial plot offers a foundational understanding of the deceased’s place. In Genesis 23:4, Abraham states, “I am a stranger and a sojourner with you: give me a possession of a burying place with you, that I may bury my dead out of my sight.” The emphasis here is on burying the dead “out of sight,” signifying a separation and a transition. Abraham sought a designated space, not for ongoing interaction, but for a dignified and humane interment, a practice that aligns with preserving human dignity.
Tombstones and Remembrance: Beyond Biblical Doctrine
The presence of tombstones and elaborate grave markers is a common sight in cemeteries worldwide. While there is generally nothing inherently wrong with these structures, their justification within a strictly biblical framework is limited. The closest scriptural reference often cited is Genesis 35:20, where Jacob erected a pillar upon Rachel’s grave, stating, “that is the pillar of Rachel’s grave unto this day.” However, this single instance, lacking further corroboration or repeated instances to establish a clear doctrine, does not provide sufficient scriptural basis for the widespread practice of elaborate tombstone construction as a form of ongoing communion.
Instead, the maintenance of cemeteries and graves is primarily understood as a means of creating organized and respectful environments. This orderliness is not predicated on the belief that the deceased are actively observing or influencing the living.
Dangerous Myths and Misguided Beliefs
Unfortunately, some cultural interpretations and beliefs surrounding death stray significantly from biblical teachings, leading to potentially harmful practices. Anecdotal evidence, particularly within certain African traditions, speaks of theories suggesting that deceased loved ones require tombstone renovations for their comfort in the afterlife or that graves might be “leaking.” These notions are often reinforced by dreams purportedly from the deceased. Such beliefs are not only unfounded but are described as deeply concerning, raising questions about the sufficiency of faith in God.
The inscriptions found on many graves—phrases like “We will miss you” or “Watch over your family”—while expressing natural human sentiment, can also point towards a deeper, and potentially unbiblical, expectation of the deceased’s continued influence. The opulence of some burial structures, irrespective of financial capacity, can further suggest a desire for a connection that transcends a simple remembrance.
The Peril of Communicating with the Dead
A critical aspect of this discussion involves the practice of speaking to the deceased. In some cultures, arriving late for a burial, even by days, weeks, or months, involves visiting the cemetery, placing a stone on the grave, and engaging in conversation with the departed, offering condolences. This practice is considered highly dangerous, as it can be an avenue for inviting and interacting with demonic forces. The temptation to seek comfort or closure through such means can inadvertently open doors to spiritual deception.
Similarly, during funeral services, direct address to the deceased, such as “Go well” or “We will miss you,” is common. While born out of ignorance of biblical truth, many believe that the spirit or soul hovers nearby and can hear these words. However, this perceived communication can be a deceptive tactic by Satan and his demons, who may exploit these moments to gather information for future manipulation.
The Sole Legitimate Conversation: Speaking Life
The Bible presents a singular instance of speaking to the dead that is biblically sanctioned: calling them back to life. Jesus’ powerful command to Lazarus, “Lazarus, come forth!” (John 11:43), exemplifies this. When addressing someone in a coffin, the only biblically justifiable purpose is to speak in the name of Jesus to call them back to life. Jesus, demonstrating this authority, spoke to Lazarus who had been dead for four days.
Therefore, any direct address to the deceased at a burial site should be exclusively for the purpose of resurrection and in the authority of Jesus’ name. The disciples were commissioned by Jesus to “Heal the sick, cleanse the lepers, raise the dead, cast out devils” (Matthew 10:8), underscoring the divinely appointed power to overcome death.
Understanding the Afterlife: A Finality in Prayer
The Shona language offers a poignant insight with the phrase, “seri kweguva hakuna munamato,” which loosely translates to “beyond the grave, there is no beneficial prayer.” This sentiment aligns with the biblical understanding that after death, the opportunity for repentance and salvation closes. Apart from prayers for resurrection, other prayers for the deceased are viewed as gestures for the living, offering comfort to those who remain, rather than impacting the eternal state of the departed.
Appealing to God for mercy on the soul of an unsaved relative after their passing is considered an exercise in futility, akin to creating content for a prayer book without tangible spiritual effect. This underscores the critical importance of evangelizing the unsaved and proclaiming the Gospel of Christ during their lifetime.
Once life’s journey concludes, and the “silver cord has been broken,” it is a time for mourning and for closing that chapter. The focus should then shift from seeking continued connection with the departed to preparing oneself and others for the eternal.
A Benediction of Hope
To God, who is able to keep us from falling and to present us faultless before His glorious presence with exceeding joy, be all glory, majesty, dominion, and power, both now and forever. Amen. May grace and peace be multiplied to you through the knowledge of God.